Mom and Dad in Africa: Kruger

At some point, everyone should try traveling abroad with their family. It is a completely different experience than traveling alone, or even with friends. You learn some…different things about each other, and you see things in a different perspective than before.

I had been looking forward to my parents visiting me in South Africa basically since the moment I got here. After spending my entire life in the same state as them, it was hard being half way around the world. I will proudly admit to anyone that I am a total mommy and daddy’s girl, and it has been a rough experience not being able to see and talk to them whenever I want. So after months of planning, and a countdown that started at 200 days, exactly 18 months since we said goodbye my parents landed in South Africa. After almost 36 hours in transit, my mom and dad seemed a little exhausted when they finally made it out of customs. I'm sure it didn’t help that my mom’s bag didn’t seem to make it on the plane from London, but regardless, I was thrilled to get my first few hugs in! To make things a little more overwhelming, mom and dad happened to be flying in on probably the highest security day in South Africa in almost 20 years. Political leaders from around the world were arriving the same day to honor the passing of Nelson Mandela. The airport was packed, and the monorail was overflowing with local men, woman, and children ready to brave the pouring rain to say a final farewell to this country’s greatest hero. We got one night at the fanciest hotel I have ever been in. Then my parents got to experience their first taste of real Africa, in the form of their first time being driven by a South African, as we headed out the next morning for Kruger National Park.

Looking back, I probably should have prepared my parents a little better for the drive. South Africans don’t really have traffic laws. They speed, they pass, sometimes pass three cars wide or on the left and right, and on a lot of roads there aren’t even lines. After 18 months I have learned to not pay any attention to the cars around us, and just cross my fingers that we make it. However, after watching my parents tense every time it looked like we were going to rear-end the car in front of us, I was reminded that people in America don’t usually drive like they have a death wish.

Fortunately we didn’t get into a horrific car accident, and eventually made it to the largest game park in South Africa. Naturally, I spotted the first animal in the form of a baboon running across the road. If I learned anything about myself on this trip it was that I would make an excellent hunter. I happen to be a badass spotter; unfortunately I have an issue with killing cute little animals, so that talent will sadly go to waste. If I learned anything about my family on this trip it was that we might all be crazy, but we are so much more fun than most people! Our seven days riding around looking at animals was amazing! Every drive was a different experience, and it didn’t matter what animals were out, we had a blast. All the other people were upset if a lion didn’t stop in the middle of the road to pose for them. There were a few times that I wanted to point out that we were not in a damn zoo. But regardless of the other people, my dad, mom, and I were just excited to see the animals. I learned that dad gets super annoyed if you refuse to call bugs insects, mom likes to take lots of picture of animals fornicating, and impala are EVERYWHERE, except when you make a bet on being the next person to see one. Because of our overall awesomeness as a family, it was only natural that our guide liked us the best as well. He got points in my book because he knew all the animals based on their names in the Lion King. If I said I wanted to see Zazu, he knew exactly what I was talking about, and I am happy to say I saw the entire Lion King cast! However, he lost points in my book when he somehow convinced my parents to become bird watchers; mom bought the book and everything. So now they are going to be those weird people that in their old age sit around watching birds. Looks like their awesomeness just went down…a lot! 

Besides spending a whole ride looking at stupid birds, we had amazing luck with the animals. We had an amazing show from a beautiful leopard one morning. After day one we all knew that when the guides all start hauling ass in the same direction there is going to be something good! The leopard was obviously showing off for the crowd. He was working all his good angles. He started up on top of a big rock where he yawned a few times for us, showing off his nice white teeth. Then he got up and strutted his stuff across the rock and up the side of the boulders. Finally, as if he could smell how delicious we would all be, he decided to come down and hop up into the tree, right next to where we would eventually be parked. Nothing makes you realize how quickly you would die in the bush like trying to figure out where the pretty kitty went and realizing that his beady gold eyes are watching your every move from above. Somehow I always seemed to be on the side of the truck that was closest to the animal who was deciding if we were a threat or not. Mom was clicking away on her camera while I was slowly trying to back up into dad’s lap. The pictures turned out great though!

 We also got to experience a morning walk around the bush. We were accompanied by two men with very large guns, and then led through two hours of an area that all looked the exact same to me. It was early, and misty, which gave everything kind of a creepy look. You could see all the spider webs in the grass glistening with dew. I could have gone without that part of the tour, but this was also a fun learning experience for me. I learned that mom lacks the basic survival and listening skills needed to survive in the bush. She seemed to disregard all the very clear instructions from the guys with the big guns about staying together in order to get some pictures. Dad on the other hand might have too much survival instincts. At the first sign of danger he didn’t hesitate to physically move mom between him and the threat. Neither one of them seemed to be at all concerned with me when two giant rhinos popped up from the creek bed right in front of us. Things get serious pretty quick when the big gun guys start whispering orders to us as the slowly sink down and take aim. I was intently trying to figure out if out running people would help when being attacked by rhinos, dad was indiscreetly trying to hide behind mom, and she was just waiting for the ok to start clicking away on the camera again. Luckily the rhinos decided to run off in the other direction. I would not have been happy if the big gun guys had been forced to shoot the big rhinos, nor would I have been happy to test my theory of out running people being effective with rhinos.

With two safari rides a day, dinner was always a nice time to relax, eat some good food, and drink a little too much wine. We all ate way too much, got into some weird and sometimes uncomfortable conversations with the other people in our group, and then retired to out rondevals for some intense card games. Here we learned that mom becomes an epic cheater when she has had a few too many glasses of wine. More than once she tried to pull a fast one on us, and then got really offended when we no longer wanted to play with her. Turns out all the stories her sisters tell of her being mean and controlling as a kid are probably all true…sorry mom.

Overall, I would have to say Kruger was the best part of the three part trip. We had a blast seeing all the animals and learning about all the crazy things that happen in the wild! I got to see a different side of my parents being in a country where I knew more than they did, but mostly it was just exciting to spend some time with them after so long!